work

So today was my first shift at DQ. it was so much fun but an unbelievable amount of work. i worked an eight hour so im pretty tired. today wasnt too bad but my head feels like its going to explode with all the different information.. i learned about working the till to how to make blizzards and banana splits. but everyone was super nice to me and i think im really going to enjoy working there. plus its nice to know a lot of the people already, half of the people who work there go to my school. but i was basically on my feet the whole time. i really enjoy making all the different kinds of ice cream but you know the DQ swirl? (the little swirly thinger on top of your cone....) is so hard to do. i must have made over 100 things and it took me like such a long time to get the swirl right. lol no kidding. but anyways im tired so im going to bed. talk to you all later. school tomorrow.... yay.....

random thoughts...

So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to him than a whole flock of sparrows. Matthew 10:31

so im feeling a bit alone right now. the whole day i have been feeling His presence off and on. One minute i feel like God is sitting right next to me, and then the next its like hes on the other side of the world. I know there is a battle for my heart. God wants me to follow him and be his child. His pathway might look difficult with twists and turns but at the end there are golden gates to his kingdom. The other path is well worn and appealing but at the end there is nothing, just emptiness. I have to decide which of these paths I will take. It seems that i have to make this decision daily.
I know that Gods path is the only one i want to travel. He is the one that actually cares about me. I am valuable to him. He is the one that will love me forever. He is enough for me. This is something ive been having to learn lately. Ever since i broke up with leon, ive had some flings with guys and the last one just ended. When i was little i always told myself that guys were stupid and I didnt need them. but now that im finally done with stupid and pointless relationships, I feel lonely at times because im used to looking forward to that phone call at night before i go to bed, or the hug randomly at school. But i realized that there is still something to look forward to. My father, God. I can go to bed tonight and feel his love surround me like the sheets in my bed. I look forward to talking to him until i fall asleep. (its better with God cause i dont have to use a phone that i could forget to hang up).
I know i went boy crazy for awhile. i dont like that. but God has forgiven me and im learning to forgive myself. and other people. All i want to focus on now is getting myself closer to Him. I want to let myself go and let him run all parts of my life, including my social life. I always fight to keep a tiny part of my life to myself but i realized that thats not going to work. I cant do this on my own. i cant be a control freek.
God is truely amazing. Thats all i can say.

just feeling like it....

well there arent many days when i actually feel like blogging... unfortunatly... but today i just want to, no reason at all. nothing really interesting is happening in my world so im not gunna lie, this post will probably be random and boring. well lets start off with my weekend. well its 5:00 on Saturday so i guess its not over.... anyways. i know that last night most of u were at Sams and i wish i was too i just never knew about it cause i wasnt on my computer at all yesterday.. well until midnight. but yeah so i went to Caitlin Scotts house and hing out with some buddies from SRC and then we went to Boston Pizza for supper.. i split nachos with Caitlin and Ben and had a chicken thai salad.. yummmmy! but i realized what a great deal nachos at Alexanders is. There like 9 bucks, they taste wayyy better and you get this huge over flowing plate of them. anywho, after that me, Caitlin, and our friends Dustin, Ryan, Joey and Matthew came over to Caitlins and they taught us how to play halo. haha wow.. im usually very opposed to these types of games but i acutally loved it.. although the boys mainly used my guy for target practice because i kept going out in the open. after halo we watched some tv and listened to Dustin sing on rockband.. haha. it was awesome. Matthew has a one month old daughter who is just adorable and i held her for a lot of the time. shes so tiny! and yeah then i went home at midnight and that concluded the 12 hour SRC marathon.. ahah it was a blast though.

After this im going to have to start the bio project i was supposed to be working on the whole break, but im procrastinating as usual. im doing it on creationism verses evolution. its a difficult argument to research on but its really interesting to see where both sides are coming from.... anyways..... i shall stop procarstinating more......... ohh facebook!

getting better

okay so its been a few days. lifes getting better. well its still hard but whatever. im going to be okay. i realize that God definatly had a role in this. Like i thought for sure it would be me breaking up with him. But I know that I don't have the heart to do that so I probably wouldve been stuck in a pointless relationship if he hadn't done it. but moving on...
so this week has been good. theres always ups and downs but i have been getting in some nice relaxation time and stuff. so yeah oh and i saw step up 2 last night with my friend Aly and oh my word! it was soooo good!!! i love it. anyways.. oh and today i baked chocolate chip banana muffins.. yummmmyyyy.. but i should go for now.. just wanted to let you all know that im okay!!!

breaking up

so joey phoned me not that long ago and he broke up with me.

normally you see this coming in a relationship, i didn't.

he told me he didnt have time for me and it "wasn't" me it was him.

he told me that he like being single, but if he ever had a girlfriend

i was perfect.

i guess i wasnt perfect enough.

i know God did not want me in this relationship because he tugged at my heart. other people wer constantly worried about me in a relationship with a non christian. i know this is what God wants me to do.

even though we went out for just under a month, i really liked him. a lot. and it hurts when someone you care about suddenly drops you and your heart shatters. it sucks. i don't really know what else to say. i dont want people to feel sorry for me. i got myself into this one and i guess joey got me out of it. but yeah. ill be fine. im just going to keep telling myself that.

valentines day xoxo

so today is valentines day. sometimes its a good day for people, sometimes its a bad day. to tell you the truth i do not remember valentines day last year. well today was kinda just like any other day for me. i would have done something special with joey but he left today for regina for a hockey tournament for four days. he had only and hour to spend with me after school till he had to be home. we were going to try to go have lunch where he works (avacados on 8th street) but obviously an hour isnt enough time to do just that. so we went to DQ accross the street from school and had a romantic date and he bought me a blizzard. okay so it wasnt so romantic but he did sit next to me after i stupidly ordered a blizzard in -50 weather and i started to shake (and having little "katelynn" seizures). then we had a romantic drive back to his house with my brother in the back seat talking to him about tires and cars and racing cars. i stopped following the convorsation after they said drag racing. oh well. i personally think valentines day is over rated and im not being bitter because i didn't do anything particularly special. its a "hallmark" holiday.
what i think valentines day is, is a day to celebrate true love. not boyfriend girlfriend highschool love, because you never know when that can end. but the only true love we have. the love of Jesus. Seriously, I know most of you hear this all the time but God loves us so much. There is nothing like his unconditional love. sometimes we take this love for granted. ok maybe we take it for granted a lot. i know i do. but when you think about it, its like having to give up your son, or your daughter, a loved one, a sibling or a friend and watching them die and suffer in one of the most painful ways possible. honestly i don't think there is one person who can handle that. only God has that much strength and love for us. He loves us so much that he put something so perfect and so remarkable on a cross to be torured for us sinners who really don't deserve it. that kind of love will never be matched. not by any boyfriends or girlfriends, or even our parents. nothing can match the love of God.
on a happier note. im pumped for tomorrow at youth and i can't wait to see you guys! and to eat chocolate. i shall see you guys later. love you all!
happy valentine's day.
xoxox

whats been happening...

well not much.. lol the past few weeks have been a blur really. with school starting, friends, boyfriends, piano, homework.... life is busy. but i have been managing to stay close with God which is reasuring. life seems to be going really well. im really happy and i love all my friends and i love God. everything seems to be just the best its every been. but part of me is fearful...
sometimes i think that this feeling isnt going to last and im just waiting for the day that something is going to go wrong.. like this weekend. i haven't felt so hopeless in a long time. my parents were constantly talking to me about my life (and i don't blame them), i was grounded on Saturday, and everything seemed to be crumbling around me. when this happens i usually go to God and ask him to help me get through it. and i did, but sometimes its nice to have someone to physically talk to (aka a friend). When things are going bad i turn to one person usually.. leon. as most of u know, hes been gone since last week and will be gone for 6 weeks or something up north. i know that leon and i have had our fights and whatnot and i knew that i needed a break from seeing him and stuff. but as soon as he left, i needed him.. and thats the first time he hasn't been there. i got this pain in my cheast like when we broke up and i realized how upset i was that my best friend was gone. i felt lonely. i guess its just weird not having him around cause hes always around. hes always there ready to answer my phone calls when im sobbing on the other end telling him how life sucks..(it doesn't tho..lol) well i guess u never know what you have until its gone..

semester 2

well im at school right now on my spare... pretty boring. i had chemistry first (yay) and i was supposed to be in a class with katelynn and steph and kayla and caitlin buttttt... i got shafted into a different class. oh well.. im sure ill last. next period i have biology which should be lovely.. and then history and psychology. im so pumped for psychology!!! theres not much to say but its really cold outside.... like -50.. honestly they need to cancel school... lol well i guess im done..<3

worship..

well i just got back from the amazing retreat.. im not gunna tell you all about it just cause most of u were there and theres no point in having you read about what you did... haha but the one thing i do want to talk about is worship. like okay, before the retreat the team worked really hard to get our songs ready. even though we had practiced so much i was still pretty scared. but when we played it was so amaxing like it was so cool. im not trying to brag, its not even that we sounded good it was the mood and feeling. everything was so happy. like i bet in all the pics of me playing keyboard i have this huge goofy grin on my face. and honestly i don't think i have ever felt more at peace and happy ever before. i am so glad that God told me to go on this retreat, so much stuff was said and it was truley a blessing to come and be with all of you.

an answered prayer

so most of you know that ive been kinda struggling with not going to the retreat. im supposed to be going to this high school select wind orchestra which always conflicts with the winter retreat. i believe that i missed it last year because of this. anyways im the type of person who wants to be involved in evertyhing and i don't want to miss out. so i prayed to God that he would show me what i need to do. Part of me wanted to stay home because to be honest, i don't mind these band things. But the other part of me was like, you know ive been working my butt of and i want to have a nice weekend with my friends and God is going to be working in that place. So last night in small groups, this subject was prayed upon. I thought nothing of it afterwards. This morning i woke up and my mom was in the kitchen and i was like mom guess what, and shes like no you guess what. and so i waited her to tell me what she needed to say, and she said Grace, you are going on the retreat. weirdly enough that was just the thing i was about to tell her. my dad heard all this and he was just confused... but yeah so im going to be going on the retreat becasue God wants me to be there. oh and by the way, any rumour you heard about my mom coming is totally not true...lol

things are finally good...

okay so the past few weeks, particularly the past week, has been a rough one. this week ive been trying something new. im the type of person that gets really stressed out becasue of finals. what better way to not be stressed out by doing some good ol devos. God definatly had this one planned out. The past few nights he has shown me so many amazing verses its crazy. and ive been writing in my prayer journal everyday. God has been so close to me lately but i hope that doesn't go away. I was losing hope there for a little bit but He showed me all of the amazing things He has done for me in the past and i knew that i just had to believe and trust in Him again. by doing this, God can work through me to help my friends and people in my life in ways that i could never imagine.
anyways, im at school right now. its second so i have my spare right now.. school is absolutely insane right now but hopefully everything will calm down after finals. but i guess ill go for now. thanks for praying for me guys, it definatly helped! love you all...
xoxoxox

prayer?

hey guys. im having a bit of a rough day. okay make that a lot of a rough day. can u guys please pray for me? im sorry but i can't tell you whats going on but ill be okay. just pray for me that God would give me strength. thanks

mmmm...its good to be back

so last night i went to youth. it was sorta a "new start" cause we are starting a new bible study. I am in Candace's group and i absolutely love it! i got put with some lovely girls (and my enji!!!) and i know that God put us in a group for a reason.

lately, i have been having that feeling where i want to be close to God but i just can't get there. no matter how hard i try, i just wasn't feeling him. so finally last week, God spoke to me. There is a friend of mine who is having some trouble and ive been really worried about them. God showed me a person at our church who could help my friend. I knew that God was talking to me because after church my mom told me that she felt the same thing.

God is so amazing guys. i know that he loves all of us.

God please help us all through these tough and stressful weeks of finals. i pray that you would help us to keep focused on our studies and help us to remember all the information that we learned. Take all of our nervousness away and please help us to feel your presence.

amen...

in victoria...

heyy guys. sorry i haven't talked to most of you lately. this morning it was raining but it was 5 degrees! so me, destiny, and my daddy went up mount doug (the mountain by my gramma and grandpas house). it was pretty wet and mucky but the smell of the trees and the rain is one of the best things in the world. its so quiet up there but if you listen really hard you can hear all the little birds and the wind whistling through the bushes. and the trees. wow, they kick our trees butts haha. they are so tall and old. and everything is green. oh well
on the other hand i am very homesick. i love saskatoon but even more than that i miss all you guys and my doggy..lol but ill be home soon enough, thursday to be exact. anyways i better go my dad wants to make the "plan" for today... haha
miss u all!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

r.i.p.

so today i learned about the car accident that im sure a few of you know about. there were some guys going to a b-ball game who were from borden and they got hit by a big truck. two of them died (they were 16) and then one of them is in surgury. to tell you the truth i wouldn't be affected much by this. i mean of course id feel really bad and sad for these two young guys. its a horrible thing to hear.. but two of my closer friends knew these guys and they are both really taking it hard. one of my friends actually lives in borden so its really hitting her hard and stuff. so i was wondering if you guys wouldn't mind praying for my friends and also those two boys. and also the guy whose in surgury. thanks..

happyyyy

well i dunno why i called this post happy but i guess im happy..lol anywayss.. there goes random grace..haha but seriously so how are things going in all of ur lives??? oh wait thats a sort of stupid thing to ask on my blog..haha but yeahh ummmmmmmmm.... k well like i have been pretty happy lately and things have been going good in life. no more backing up into cars (yes i already got into a fender bender..haha) and no more bad people in my life. everyones my friend and for the most part everyones being nice to me. for the most part

there is one person.. who teases me (meanily hahaah thats not a word) and its all jokes and stuff.. but its hurting me slowly. i tell them to stop and grow up but the problem persists. can u guys pray for me that i can deal with this situation in a Godly way instead of coming back with a nasty retort.. thanks

.....:S

i give up.
sometimes i wonder why it think i can even try.
why should i try to fight it?
why do i think i can win this fight?
i'm always goin to be the loser in this one...

cause my God is going to win this one

i always seem to fight what he want's for me
but in the end i always wish i should've trusted him
casue in the end my way always ends up
just hurting me
i wish that i had a time machine that could take me back
even just a few weeks ago
and things would be so much different...

why do i trust my heart?
why do i think my way is always right?
why do i resist his love and help?...

God you are there for me always
i know you are here right now as i type this
please just take me in you heart again
in your heart is the only place
this mixed up little girl can fit into
take me back please
i want to be safe from this world
your all i want and i need you so badly
you are everthing
just plain everything...

nothing could be better than having you in my life again
you are more than enough for me
i don't need boys, money, or even a car to satisfy me
you can overflow my heart more than anyone in this world
your love is so deep and its the only true kind of love
people always tell me that they love me
your the only one i can trust
you will never hurt me
you will always love me
you are my father and i
am you daughter...
and i thank you for that

God im asking you to take me back into your arms...
i am once again taking into my heart
letting you take control
i can't do this without you
you are my rock and my supporter
i have learned that i am absolutely
nothing and i am totally worthless
without you...
ive missed you

at schoool

heyy guys. well im in advisory right now... im just thinking about lots of stuff and its a bit overwhelming. i mean theres Destiny and everything (her court date is tomorrow!) and it just seems like there are so many decisions that i have to make lately. i think ive been forgetting about one thing though... GOD.. i really have to remember that im not in this alonee... g2g though xoxoxo

well la ti da...

ha im very bored right now.. but im having a bit of a problem so i think i should tell you guys.. i dunno...
well it has to do with food. i know that im not fat okay, lol unless you guys think so. i hope you don't! lol anyways. so my problem lately has definatly been over eating. its not that im eating bad foods.. although i do that too much too! but i eat as soon as i get a tinnny bit hungry. i am gaining some weight and i really don't want to gain any weight.. cause then my pants don't fit..lol but anyways, ive really been struggling with this. God has called me to fast to help show me that i need to put him over food and that he can get me through the days without eating. can you guys please pray for me?? thanks...

whats new?

i figured that i should update because a few people have come up to me and asked me how my slump has been going... haha.. well that "slump"only lasted that one night. after that i felt fine. i think i was just tired and stressed as most of us are at the end of the week. anyways, so to let you all know, i did pass my drivers exam. i only got 6 points off this time, not 38.. lol but driving has been so much fun. its so weird not having my mom in the passenger seat saying ohh kay thats a stop sign..haha.
this past weekend was very fun since i barely had any homework. on Friday I went to worship at 6:00 for youth and then we did our thing and it was much fun. and then after that i went home and did my piano practice and then steph came over and we talked on my couch for like 10 minutes and then kent calls and is like guys wanna do something? and we were so bored so we all went to pizza hut and said hi to leon and then went to Alexander's and ate some delicious nachos.. i am definatly going there again! so then steph came back to my house and we had a sleepover and we slept in like there was no tomorrow..haha and yeah then Saturday i can't really remember much of what happened.. i think... oh yeah i did homework and then i went to leons and watched a movie and then went to bed at like 10:00 ahah and then Sunday my lovely katleynn was baptized!! man am i ever proud of you! and then i got to go out for a fancy lunch at the bessborough.. leon paid for that one and can i tell you that i felt like the most biggest princess ever? haha it was so much fun and then i went home and watched the last bit of the football game with my mom and yeah that was my weekend...i love weekends....
xoxoxxoxoxox