whats been happening...

well not much.. lol the past few weeks have been a blur really. with school starting, friends, boyfriends, piano, homework.... life is busy. but i have been managing to stay close with God which is reasuring. life seems to be going really well. im really happy and i love all my friends and i love God. everything seems to be just the best its every been. but part of me is fearful...
sometimes i think that this feeling isnt going to last and im just waiting for the day that something is going to go wrong.. like this weekend. i haven't felt so hopeless in a long time. my parents were constantly talking to me about my life (and i don't blame them), i was grounded on Saturday, and everything seemed to be crumbling around me. when this happens i usually go to God and ask him to help me get through it. and i did, but sometimes its nice to have someone to physically talk to (aka a friend). When things are going bad i turn to one person usually.. leon. as most of u know, hes been gone since last week and will be gone for 6 weeks or something up north. i know that leon and i have had our fights and whatnot and i knew that i needed a break from seeing him and stuff. but as soon as he left, i needed him.. and thats the first time he hasn't been there. i got this pain in my cheast like when we broke up and i realized how upset i was that my best friend was gone. i felt lonely. i guess its just weird not having him around cause hes always around. hes always there ready to answer my phone calls when im sobbing on the other end telling him how life sucks..(it doesn't tho..lol) well i guess u never know what you have until its gone..