in victoria...

heyy guys. sorry i haven't talked to most of you lately. this morning it was raining but it was 5 degrees! so me, destiny, and my daddy went up mount doug (the mountain by my gramma and grandpas house). it was pretty wet and mucky but the smell of the trees and the rain is one of the best things in the world. its so quiet up there but if you listen really hard you can hear all the little birds and the wind whistling through the bushes. and the trees. wow, they kick our trees butts haha. they are so tall and old. and everything is green. oh well
on the other hand i am very homesick. i love saskatoon but even more than that i miss all you guys and my doggy..lol but ill be home soon enough, thursday to be exact. anyways i better go my dad wants to make the "plan" for today... haha
miss u all!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

r.i.p.

so today i learned about the car accident that im sure a few of you know about. there were some guys going to a b-ball game who were from borden and they got hit by a big truck. two of them died (they were 16) and then one of them is in surgury. to tell you the truth i wouldn't be affected much by this. i mean of course id feel really bad and sad for these two young guys. its a horrible thing to hear.. but two of my closer friends knew these guys and they are both really taking it hard. one of my friends actually lives in borden so its really hitting her hard and stuff. so i was wondering if you guys wouldn't mind praying for my friends and also those two boys. and also the guy whose in surgury. thanks..

happyyyy

well i dunno why i called this post happy but i guess im happy..lol anywayss.. there goes random grace..haha but seriously so how are things going in all of ur lives??? oh wait thats a sort of stupid thing to ask on my blog..haha but yeahh ummmmmmmmm.... k well like i have been pretty happy lately and things have been going good in life. no more backing up into cars (yes i already got into a fender bender..haha) and no more bad people in my life. everyones my friend and for the most part everyones being nice to me. for the most part

there is one person.. who teases me (meanily hahaah thats not a word) and its all jokes and stuff.. but its hurting me slowly. i tell them to stop and grow up but the problem persists. can u guys pray for me that i can deal with this situation in a Godly way instead of coming back with a nasty retort.. thanks

.....:S

i give up.
sometimes i wonder why it think i can even try.
why should i try to fight it?
why do i think i can win this fight?
i'm always goin to be the loser in this one...

cause my God is going to win this one

i always seem to fight what he want's for me
but in the end i always wish i should've trusted him
casue in the end my way always ends up
just hurting me
i wish that i had a time machine that could take me back
even just a few weeks ago
and things would be so much different...

why do i trust my heart?
why do i think my way is always right?
why do i resist his love and help?...

God you are there for me always
i know you are here right now as i type this
please just take me in you heart again
in your heart is the only place
this mixed up little girl can fit into
take me back please
i want to be safe from this world
your all i want and i need you so badly
you are everthing
just plain everything...

nothing could be better than having you in my life again
you are more than enough for me
i don't need boys, money, or even a car to satisfy me
you can overflow my heart more than anyone in this world
your love is so deep and its the only true kind of love
people always tell me that they love me
your the only one i can trust
you will never hurt me
you will always love me
you are my father and i
am you daughter...
and i thank you for that

God im asking you to take me back into your arms...
i am once again taking into my heart
letting you take control
i can't do this without you
you are my rock and my supporter
i have learned that i am absolutely
nothing and i am totally worthless
without you...
ive missed you

at schoool

heyy guys. well im in advisory right now... im just thinking about lots of stuff and its a bit overwhelming. i mean theres Destiny and everything (her court date is tomorrow!) and it just seems like there are so many decisions that i have to make lately. i think ive been forgetting about one thing though... GOD.. i really have to remember that im not in this alonee... g2g though xoxoxo

well la ti da...

ha im very bored right now.. but im having a bit of a problem so i think i should tell you guys.. i dunno...
well it has to do with food. i know that im not fat okay, lol unless you guys think so. i hope you don't! lol anyways. so my problem lately has definatly been over eating. its not that im eating bad foods.. although i do that too much too! but i eat as soon as i get a tinnny bit hungry. i am gaining some weight and i really don't want to gain any weight.. cause then my pants don't fit..lol but anyways, ive really been struggling with this. God has called me to fast to help show me that i need to put him over food and that he can get me through the days without eating. can you guys please pray for me?? thanks...

whats new?

i figured that i should update because a few people have come up to me and asked me how my slump has been going... haha.. well that "slump"only lasted that one night. after that i felt fine. i think i was just tired and stressed as most of us are at the end of the week. anyways, so to let you all know, i did pass my drivers exam. i only got 6 points off this time, not 38.. lol but driving has been so much fun. its so weird not having my mom in the passenger seat saying ohh kay thats a stop sign..haha.
this past weekend was very fun since i barely had any homework. on Friday I went to worship at 6:00 for youth and then we did our thing and it was much fun. and then after that i went home and did my piano practice and then steph came over and we talked on my couch for like 10 minutes and then kent calls and is like guys wanna do something? and we were so bored so we all went to pizza hut and said hi to leon and then went to Alexander's and ate some delicious nachos.. i am definatly going there again! so then steph came back to my house and we had a sleepover and we slept in like there was no tomorrow..haha and yeah then Saturday i can't really remember much of what happened.. i think... oh yeah i did homework and then i went to leons and watched a movie and then went to bed at like 10:00 ahah and then Sunday my lovely katleynn was baptized!! man am i ever proud of you! and then i got to go out for a fancy lunch at the bessborough.. leon paid for that one and can i tell you that i felt like the most biggest princess ever? haha it was so much fun and then i went home and watched the last bit of the football game with my mom and yeah that was my weekend...i love weekends....
xoxoxxoxoxox

im in a slumppp...

wow i don't even know how to tell you how im feeling right now. i dunno, im not necesarilly depressed but im not happy. i don't feel like going to youth tonight at all, i feel like crawling into my bed and sleeping. on the other hand, going out to a movie with a friend sounds appealing. i don't want to talk to anyone, i just want to be with people. i want to know whats going to make me happy. now all i feel like doing is stuffing my face with pizza and gulping down a diet coke. i feel so tired right now and grumpy and i don't want to snap at anyone at youth. but i want to go to youth so i can get out of my stupid house cause ive been here all day. hmm well i guess ill come to youth. i don't really have an option other than going to bed or watching a movie by myself which i don't want to do. hmm.. guess ill have to take some words from the wize and "suck it up princess.."

i didn't even see it....

last night i was sitting and talking with leon. he was telling me about a whole bunch of stuff that was happening with him. then we just sat there and he asked me if i was okay. and i said no for some reason. he asked why and i said i have no clue. then he asked me about what was happening in my life.

then it hit me...

it felt like a ton of bricks were squishing me and i couldn't breathe and i was trapped and i could see this little light in the distance but i could never reach it. i would try to reach for it but more and more bricks kept trapping me...

i realized that i had gone through so much in the past few months. i didn't realize that i had been okay until now, it just sorta hit me when i stopped to think about it. its weird how that happens, you don't actually realize what you've been through until you stop. thats my problem, i never stop andi never think. i just go and do.. and keep going. but now i realize that that is going to hurt me in the end if i don't realize whats happening in my own life. im too caught up with whats happening around me and what im going to miss.

leon told me that whats happening is like this: im walking along a path, and i have a backpack. in the backpack are lots of stones, they are other peoples problems. and the keep filling up my backpack. soon my backpack is full of stones, it doesn't overflow but it is so heavy that i fall down. all the stones fall out of the backpack and i just sit on the ground. people pass by me with their half full backpacks and just stare and move on. Then my friends come around and they fill their backpacks with some of my stones so that when they help me up my backpack is a lot less heavy.

lately it seems like so many of my friends are having problems from abusive situations all the way to boy troubles. i guess i felt like i needed to be the strong one and i realized that im not the strong one. God is the strong one. i think that now that i now this i need to give God all these problems because he is the only one who can help me. God is my rock.

devos....

Be still and know that I am God Psalm 46:10
I read this in my devos this morning. Last night I was like man i should read my bible. Then just as I was about to pick it up, God was like Gracie, you just need to be still for a minute, no writing prayers, no reading just listening. So I was like okay. Fine, have it your way...lol. So i grabbed my iPod and sat on my bed and started to listen to my wroship music. I found a good song and just looked out my window. Right in my window was the moon. It was so big and beautiful. And i realized hey, my daddy made that. Thats pretty cool. So then I just sat on my bed and looked at the moon and just thought about how awesome God is. He has been totally blessing my life lately and I have been coming so much closer to him. He has shown me how he can bring certain people in your life for a reason, there not just there for your entertainment. He's shown my how he can work through me when im willing to take risks for him, but he will reward me in the end. God is totally awesome guys.

oh im just a thinkin...:P

well ive been thinking lately. since i've had a lot of time to think. a few days ago i was thinking. i felt so alone, weak and just drained. I cleared my mind and tried to relax. i saw my bible laying on my table. without even thinking, i picked it up. i heard the words psalm and 62 in my head. i immediatly could tell that it was my father's voice. so without hesitation i flipped to pslam 62 and it was such a miracle and a blessing. it says:
1 For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation. 2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall never be shaken.
3 How long will you assail a person,
will you batter your victim, all of you,
as you would a leaning wall, a tottering fence?
4 Their only plan is to bring down a person of prominence.
They take pleasure in falsehood;
they bless with their mouths,
but inwardly they curse.
5 For God alone my soul waits in silence,
for my hope is from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
7 On God rests my deliverance and my honor;
my mighty rock, my refuge is in God.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us.
9 Those of low estate are but a breath,
those of high estate are a delusion;
in the balances they go up;
they are together lighter than a breath.
10 Put no confidence in extortion,
and set no vain hopes on robbery;
if riches increase, do not set your heart on them.
11 Once God has spoken;
twice have I heard this:
that power belongs to God,
12 and steadfast love belongs to you, O Lord.
For you repay to all
according to their work.
For me this was such a blessing not only because i felt like i was alone, but also because i felt like i had done all these things for God but nothing had come from it. He promises us that we will be repayed for the things we have done for him. i know that God is my rock and I can lean on him...
just thinkin....

prayer for me.... praise for God...

Father, i know that i can get excited reallly easy. Tonight when im out with my friends can you please guide the way i talk and act. help me to slow down and help me to see other around me. Help me to listen sometimes...

God i praise you for putting so many blessings in my life. you are truely amazing. i have seen you work in so many lives. please help me to recognize these blessings and give them back to you. you are the one that deserves all the credit. You have surrounded me with so many God given opportunities and so many people willing to help me accomplish them.

wow two posts in one day....

well im not sure as to why im posting right now but i just need to get out my thoughts i guess. im feeling really traped, literally, i just feel like i want to get out of the house. its probably because all i did yesterday was sit at home by myself till midnight. but sometimes thats all i feel like doing lately. i dunno things are crazy and i just want to have fun and get on with my life. i dunno wats holding me back though. maybe im just pmsing?? i have no clue.... oh well i just everything to go back to normal in my life so that i can function...

Friends

well most of you know by now that leon and i aren't together anymore. obviously for his sake and mine im not going to talk about it but what i am going to say is that it was avery good experience. we went out for almost 15 months. you would think after going out for so long, you couldn't be friends afterwards, but of course there is God in all of this. The night that i broke up with Leon we felt so much love for eachother, in a friend way, and we were so happy that we didn't have to part in bitterness. i know that he will always be my friend.
but on the other hand, what do i fill this huge whole in my heart with?? Well the obvious answer is God and that is what i have been doing. its been amazing just being so lonely and then being like Gods my best buddy, i can always chill with him tonight. but also, i realized that there are so many friends that i have forgotton about that are all around me . they aren't the obvious ones either. today i wrote one of my friends an email apologizing for how i treated her becuase i felt as though i had ignored her. then i read my devotions on my email and it was all about friends. it wasn't anything long but here it is:

A man [that hath] friends must show himself friendly. Proverbs 18:24 During your teenage years they can make you or break you. They can stress you out more than anything else. No, they aren’t zits or clothing or even grades…they are your friends. All through high school and college you have to be in the right social circles. In high school you have the jocks, cheerleaders, preps, party goers, nerds, etc. In most colleges there are fraternities and sororities that everyone wants to be a part of. While social status may be the important factor in the world today, that doesn’t mean you should snub those considered “lower” than you. When you ignore others, you are showing that you don’t care about them. Less and less people will like you because of your harsh actions. Proverbs says that, “A man who has friends must show himself friendly.” When you are nice to everyone, God’s grace shines through you and you become a friend of all of the groups at your school or work. Go out of your way today to be kind. See the rewards that God will grant you when you treat everyone the way you would like to be treated.

That just spoke to me and told me that i shouldn't care about all these cliques and stuff, i need to put myself out there...

update finally!

heyy everyone. it feels like its been years since ive blogged last! i guess facebook kinda took me over.. it just seems so convienient and fast. oh well. blogs are fun too! so anyways, the past few weeks have been rough ones but God was truely been by my side and he's been my best friend. God has shown me some pretty awesome people in my life and they have benn really supportive. things have been moving along though...
Destiny's court date seems closer and closer each day. but i feel really calm about it. but even though i feel really calm about it i have to remember that i need to pray about the whole situation.
well there doesn't seem much to talk about but i guess its cause i've talked to you guys for the most part. well unfortunatly i didn't come to youth cause i had to babysit but at least we came for the visit which was nice. haha destony did not want to leave nathan. oh well... ttyl....
<3

prayer..

hi guys, God has been revealing himself even more to me still. he has put people on my mind that i need to pray for. There is a guy that i know that usually is sorta mean to people. In the past few days i've really been gettin to know him better. Hes having a super hard time right now and hes very depressed and his family is not very supportive... he really needs our prayers.
Father-
help me to show your love to this guy
heal his hurting heart and
keep him dafe in the shelter of
you wings
i pray that you would work in
his life, he knows you father
help me to show him how real you are
AMEN.

miracles...

these past few weeks God has been revealing himself more and more to me. His presence is so strong. I've been reading John and there are a lot of Jesus' miracles in that book. God blessed me in so many ways since i've started reading John, like helping me find my band hoodie and helping my family and so many other things. and the blessings aren't luck, they are purely from God. heres a song ive been thinking about...
We who were called to be Your people
Struggling sinners and thieves
We’re lifted up from the ashes
And out came the song of the redeemed
The song of the redeemed
The song of the redeemed
Can you hear the sound of melodies
Oh, the sound of melodies
Rising up to You
Rising up to You, God
The sound of melodies
Oh, the sound of melodies
Rising up to You
Rising up to You, God
We have caught a revelation
That nothing can separate us from
The love we received through salvation
It fills your daughters and your sons
Your daughters and your sons
The sound of Your love
The sound of Your love
Is what You’re hearing
The sound of Your sons
The sound of Your sons
You’ve won Your children
The sound of Your love
The sound of Your love
Is what You’re hearing
Your daughters in love
Your daughters in love
You’ve won your children
The sound of melodies
Oh, the sound of melodies
Rising up to You
Rising up to You, God

Picture day

today is picture day at school. yay.... not. well actually i don't mind getting my picture taken. but anyways, more to the topic of school. well last weeks was my first week, if u can call 3 days a week. hahaah... it was sooo much fun. im so glad to be back at school. i missed all my friends so much and it was great to get my brain working again from the pile of mush it turned into during the summer. oh and next week i start piano up again, i am VERY excited about this.
but something usually happens to me during the year and it has happened already. i am one of those people who are involoved in everything. i want to be busy. but God showed me during mexico that i have to have time for him. Last week I signed up for the musical that we are putting on at our school. I have to audition on Wednesday. I was pretty pumped. But last night my mom and i looked at all the prctive times and it is crazy! so i thought about it and decided that my school work would probably suffer if I went in the musical and also my social life with God would go down the hole. so im not doing it anymore. yes i was disapointed but there will always be other musicals and plays and more that i can be involved in. But its almost 8:00, almost time for school...
xoxoxoxox

school? already???

this week the buzz has been all about school. why shouldn't it be? its a shock to think that we will go back to school on Wednesday. Although im quite happy because im ready to get my brain going again and get into the rutine of things again.

well not much has been happining in my life this past week. oh i got facebook, which is why i haven't been blogging much. im still not very good at the whole posting pictures thing, but i do have some pictures of leon and i posted. anyways, enough about facebook.

Kent came into town as well, our "crew" as he likes to call it, went to Timmys. we had so much fun and some of his other friends came too. it was sad to see him leave but it was really nice to see him. and its not like he's gone forever!
today me and katelynn and steph hung out. hahahaha we took some pretty ridiculous pictures of ourselves...lol
well hopefully my blogging will be more frequent than last year during school..lol
xoxoxo

just thinkin...

right now im in a bit of a spiritual slump. at the beggining of the summer i was doing really well with devotions and praying and stuff. but when i got a job and stuff, i forgot about Him. it makes me angry to think that i would forget about someone so important and special to my heart, it would be like forgetting my birthday or something. but anyways i feel very empty and im sure most of you can relate to this feeling. even when i was doing my devotions it was like, okay read this one chapter and ur done and go to bed. Sometimes it wasn't like that, sometimes i would read more and be really interested. but im not feeling close to Him.
This morning my mom talked to me about God. Usually im like oh no, here she goes again. but this morning i was really listning to her and wanting to hear what she had to say. She talked about my purpose in life and how i have to listen to God and do his work. My purpose is to lead others to christ, this is our purpose. She gave me an image. She said, imagine you are in Disneyland and you are so happy and having fun, then theres this glass wall that comes down. You are on one side of it with other people, and others are on the opposite side. On your side there are all the believers, on the other are the people that God placed in your path to help lead to Christ but you never took the time. I don't want to go to heaven and look down at all the people i could've helped lead to Christ.
God has put a fire in my heart this morning to do his work. I feel like he is calling me. I don't know what he wants me to do but i know that it will bring me closer to him. Unfortunatly, when you start getting closer to God, Satan attacks you. There is a battle for each of our hearts and it is hard when Satan tempts you with the easy way out, but really its not so easy. Heaven will be great, the greatest thing ever and our hearts belong to Christ. He is awesome and he loves us so much.
There this guy at work who i realllllllly don't like. hes sorta creepy and annoying. Lately i've felt bad feelings towards him. I'm usually not like that towards people but for some reason i felt that for him. My mom knows about this guy and she said remember that he is one of God's children, whether he believes or not. He belongs to God and He loves this guy as much as you or any of us. Jesus says for us to be loving to those who don't love us. So now im going to take a bit of a different attitude towards this guy, because he is one of God's children.
I have to go for now, my bible and prayer journal are calling me...